Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Michael Phelps

WHITECOLLAR REDNECK
I hope when he holds his obligatory apologetic press conference — the one in which he tearfully regrets ever having gotten close to marijuana — Michael Phelps will adopt the D.A.R.E. party line that "users are losers" by insisting that if he hadn't been all hopped up on dope he would have come home from Beijing with a dozen gold medals. Because otherwise, about thirty years of public service announcements trying to get kids to associate drugs with failure will have been wasted, or gone up in smoke (pick your preferred drug-related metaphor).

4 comments:

Mithridates said...

The last two Presidents did Coke, and the one before did at least Marijuana. But we're all up in arms because a 23-year-old swimmer smoked a bowl. Time to call the whole war on drugs a failure, don't you think?

ONTRI said...

3 things I know about Michael Phelps.

-Smokes pot
-Eats 7,000 calories per day
-Has abs of steel

Think that will work for me?

Phutatorius said...

ONTRI:

You're our Butch from the Cape. Keep up the good work!

ONTRI said...

First time callah long time listenah!

Post a Comment