Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Why Do Secret Service Agents Dress Up?

I was checking out this slideshow on Obama's Secret Service detail the other day, and I came to wonder why the agents are always wearing suits and dress shoes.

I understand that there's a certain kind of G-man chic out there, and everyone dresses to impress these days, but it seems to me that these are hardly the duds anyone would choose to have on while running down bad guys — or even if the situation called for a sudden, catlike spring-into-action to take a bullet for Renegade.

This question has been sitting in the back of my mind for years, and it finally washed into my full consciousness when I came upon this "protective booty" photograph. As best I can gather from the shot and the caption, the agents are wearing New York Times newspaper bags over their feet so the cow dung won't mess up their suit pants and shoes. The dress shoes are non-functional enough — with the "booties" on, these agents' agility/mobility factors have got to be even more reduced.

I'm not asking for Spandex superhero costumes (Michael Chabon tells us — and rightly, to my mind — that these outfits are "preposterous" and impossible to render in the physical world, which fact probably explains the godawful pleather onesies Hollywood inflicted on The X-Men), but wouldn't something in a lightweight cotton or twill be a better bet? And more importantly, why not boots, or cross-trainers?

I'm sure I'm not the first person to consider this — classified white papers have been drafted on the subject, no doubt. Has the Secret Service concluded that the intimidation factor of having the big guys in suits outweighs what you lose in mobility? Is form function in this case? I might buy that argument. But if the rationale for the suits is simply that it undercuts the dignity of the President's office to have his elite bodyguards wearing Nikes and sweats — well, I'll refer you again to the "booty" photo.

Those are just the secret service agents you see. The secret secret service agents never get photographed. Of course, that's not even the real Obama — just a scrawny imitation. The real Obama has pecs of steel.

Why is everybody on this blog suddenly in water? Is there some big pool party I haven't been invited to?

Worth noting, too, that with this photo we've achieved a 1:1 blogwide ratio of nipples to Google Map embeds. That should be a good figure to flog around in our promo materials.


Fangyaya said...

ray ban sunglasses outlet
pittsburgh steelers jerseys
ralph lauren polo shirts
louis vuitton handbags
nfl jerseys
louis vuitton bags
adidas yeezy
giuseppe zanotti sneakers
moncler doudoune
vans outlet
uggs outlet
basketball shoes
ghd flat iron
michael kors
coach outlet online
michael kors outlet
ugg boots
abercrombie outlet
tods outlet store
louis vuitton outlet stores
ray ban sunglasses
polo ralph lauren outlet
toms shoes
canada goose jackets
coach outlet store online clearances
adidas superstar
ralph lauren
nike roshe one
oakley outlet
cheap toms
michael kors outlet online
ray ban outlet
uggs on sale
boston celtics jerseys
adidas originals store
ugg outlet
mont blanc pen
ugg boots
coach outlet
michael kors outlet online

dada24 Xu said...

nike air force black
moncler outlet store
hermes belt outlet
louis vuitton borse
michael kors canada
michael kors outlet store
moncler pas cher
lacoste polo shirts
christian louboutin outlet
discount nike air max
michael kors outlet clearance
canada goose
ugg sale 2016
cheap rolex replica watches
oakley sunglasses wholesale
canada goose outlet
ugg outlet online
canada goose parka
ferragamo outlet
uggs pas cher
ecco outlet
yeezy boost 350
coach factory outlet online
cheap oakley sunglasses
true religion jeans
nike cortez shoes
pandora charms outlet
mlb jerseys free shipping
coach factory outlet
nfl jerseys wholesale
burberry bags
louboutin outlet

Meiqing Xu said...

coach outlet store
ralph lauren
louis vuitton handbags
michael kors bags
nfl jerseys
coach outlet store online clearances
coach factory outlet
cheap jordans free shipping
coach outlet
ed hardy

PalaPala said...

Air Jordan 11
Pandora Jewelry Official Site
Nike Air Max 270
Red Bottom for Women
Kyrie Shoes
Air Jordan 9
Pandora Jewelry
Adidas Yeezy
Air Jordan 4 Retro

Post a Comment