Saturday, January 31, 2009

I've Just Revolutionized Grocery Shopping

PHUTATORIUS
Here's how: you put scanners into the shopping carts.

Customer comes to the store, get a cart with a built-in scanner. He wanders the aisles, fills up his cart — and every time he drops something in, he scans it first. His bill is instantly totaled by the time he's done shopping. Shopper swipes a credit card — that could be built into the cart, too — and he's paid and can go straight out to his car. Done. Easy. Brilliant.
More...
Oh, sure, the tabloid publishers won't like it: their marketing model depends on people standing, bored, in a checkout line. You could expect to see a number of front page stories in the Weekly World News and National Enquirer: Shopping Cart Scanner Explodes, Mauls Family of Four. But I'll take those bastards on.

What store in its right mind would do this, Phutatorius? Who's gonna stick expensive electronic equipment on grocery carts that sit out in the rain and snow and get bashed around in the parking lot? A fair point: how about the scanner snaps onto the bars of the grocery cart? How about you pick one up at the door, and you return it on your way out? Huh? Huh? POW! You have questions — I've got answers.

What about bagging? you ask. Bag as you go, people. It's real easy, and I know you all can do it. Sing along with me now, to the tune of "Shortnin' Bread":

Scan and bag it as you go,
scan and bag,
take a number, talk to Deli Man,
scan and bag.


Scan-as-you-go is the wave of the future, Brothers and Sisters, and you read it first here at FO.

7 comments:

WhiteCollar Redneck said...

Yes, and every time you step away from your cart, a prank-loving youth sneaks by and scans a small bottle of organic Tahitian vanilla essence, adding $25 to your total, which you won't notice unless you audit your bill line-by-line.

Anonymous said...

Hi there just wanted to give you a quick heads up and let
you know a few of the pictures aren't loading properly. I'm not
sure why but I think its a linking issue. I've tried it in two different web browsers and both show the same outcome.

my page - www.vibeelite.com

Anonymous said...

Superb goods here on blogger.com, dude. I actually like what you have accumulated
here, definitely like what you're saying and the way through which you profess it. You've taken
the effort to make it simultaneously entertaining and intelligent.
I can not wait to know much more from you. A helpful blog indeed.


Have a look at my page; learn.equalit.ie

Anonymous said...

Is it ok if I cite a few of your posts if I provide credit and
sources back to blogger.com? My website is in the exact same niche as your own and my readers could definitely gain from much of the articles you give here.
Please let me know if this is okay with you.
Regards

Also visit my webpage: wiki.cas.badpointer.net

Anonymous said...

I'm relieved that I've been able to find blogger.
com: it has the most info appropriate for me. It’s extremely beneficial and you’re obviously really knowledgeable in
this field. You have opened up my eyes to numerous ideas involving this particular
matter utilizing interesting and strong content.

Feel free to surf to my site: fatigue

Anonymous said...

My name's Arnoldo from Nicotera, Italia and I have to say your article is very entertaining. The quality of your post is quite good and I can suppose you are an authority on this subject. With your authorization, would you permit me to grab your RSS feed to keep updated with forthcoming content? Thanks a ton and please continue the great work.

my web blog - discount brokerage firm

dada24 Xu said...

coach outlet online
michael kors canada
polo ralph lauren outlet
tommy hilfiger outlet online
nike store uk
oakley vault sunglasses
converse sale
birkenstock uk
canada goose outlet
ferragamo
michael kors outlet clearance
coach outlet online
louboutin shoes
oakley vault outlet
nba jerseys on sale
louboutin shoes
ugg boots outlet
nike trainers
true religion sale
cheap jordan shoes
bottega veneta sale
michael kors
pandora charms uk
timberland boots outlet
tiffany outlet
louis vuitton outlet
ray ban sunglasses
tiffany jewelry
reebok outlet store
vans outlet store
michael kors handbags outlet
adidas supercolor pink
cheap oakley sunglasses
michael kors outlet
20160907caiyan

Post a Comment